Deeper Understanding of Making A Choice

Tuesday, 15 Jan 2013
Picked up Nate from Pats. Into car. Pebble, hopeful eyes looked up at gaama:.
"Gaama, can I listen to one story on your Tablet please?"
No, Nate. Do you remember last night when I was walking out of your home, I asked you a question, you put your face into the sofa and you did not want to answer me. And I told you: "Nate, if you continue to be rude and not answer me, I will not allow you to touch my Tablet". Before I walked out of your home, I gave you a warning and a chance to answer me, but you chose not to answer me. So, No, you cannot play with my Tablet.
Nate thought deeply for a moment, then sat right up and looked straight into gaama's eyes with great concern:
"You mean I cannot play your Tablet... FOREVER?" [Intelligent question, having calculated his costs, thinking ahead].
No, Nate, not FOREVER. You will get to play with Tablet once you have learned to obey and not be rude when mummy, dardy, gaama, gaapa talks to you. You could have answered me and said sorry when I gave you the chance to answer me, but you chose not to answer me. Do you understand why you don't get to touch my Tablet today?
"Yes, gaama". Nate thought for a minute... then he asked:
"But, gaama, even though I said sorry to my dardy, he still caned me. You know, this happened few times already. Why, dardy still caned me after I said sorry?"
This question took me by surprise. Nate actually heard my rationale and then applied to his own situation between his dardy and him and he needed some answers from gaama. He probably thought that the word "sorry" will save his buttocks from the smack of the cane. [which gaapa noticed that his dardy "applied tenderly" over Nate's thick layer of pants on Monday. Not pain, according to gaapa].
Nate, your dardy still caned you because he gave you a warning. Is it about kicking the car-seat yesterday? [Yes]. Dardy warned you to stop kicking the seat, if not you will get a caning when you reach home. Did you obey dardy? [No]. Did you stop kicking? [No]. So dardy had to carry out his warning. Nate, the important thing is you must obey immediately when dardy gives you a warning. You chose to disobey in the car, so you deserved the caning that dardy warned you about. Saying sorry after you disobeyed is good, but not good enough to take away the caning. You must obey right away, otherwise caning will come, as promised by dardy. We keep our promises, Nate. [I know]. If you have done wrong, you must take your punishment like a man. Do you understand, Nate? [Yes]. So, what must you do if you don't want to be caned?
"I must obey right away. Gaama.,when can I play your Tablet again?" [Nate never forgot his main concern:)]
You will get to play Tablet when you have learnt obedience and you are not rude. Maybe two days later. Let us see, ok?
"Ok",

Nate then relaxed back peacefully into his car-seat. Issue settled between gaama and a  5-year-old boy. It is interesting that Nate reflected, churned it through his brain, understood the crux of the matter, how it worked [or rather how it did not work out for him], and connected it with his encounters with his dardy and asked why. Nate accepted the explanation well, and is looking forward for this episode to pass him by when he can get his hands onto the Tablet again. Gaapa the chauffeur was following closely the conversation between gaama and Nate in the back seat, with wonder and amusement.

I always enjoy all my conversations with our grandkidz and I am often challenged to have to think very quickly to give them answers when they responded with their intelligent questions... why, why.... but, but.... do you know, gaama?    Most of all, I LISTEN to the BIG concerns and HURTS [My heart is broken and painful... courtesy of Sam] of little hearts, thankful to God that they are very teachable, very open to express themselves, and surprisingly mature to be able to reason things out with us adults, and go away cheered, hugged and still  feel loved by us all, despite the discipline accorded to them. Kidz are growing through different phases of childhood.

We are indeed blessed!